There is a tradition in diving that for your 100th dive, you go naked. Well, I've known several people to hit their hundredth, but no one I know has actually pulled off the naked dive (often it's a silly costume or a wig or some such). Excuses usually run along the "There's customers on the boat" or "The water's cold." Bollocks, really. Obviously, I, being the tradition-follower I am, decided it was my responsibility to uphold this venerable practice and set a positive example for others. In consideration of the customers on board the boat that day, I unleashed my glory at depth (taking off my shorts with fins on was somewhat challenging), and regained my modesty before surfacing (putting on my shorts with fins on was extremely frickin challenging). The water was a bit chilly, but nothing unmanageable, and my dive buddy made some disparaging remarks about being blinded by my pale ass. Overall, a good time. Which may have to be repeated.
To mark the recent completion of all my pre-divemaster courses, I have once again gone platinum blond. Obviously, this has nothing to do with aesthetic appearance (yeah, right), but rather a favor to all those divers I may soon lead. They'll definitely have no trouble picking me out of a crowd now, eh? The looks I get from all the Thais are so worth the price of admission. "Wait, he's not Thai, wtf?!?" Damn tootin', I'm not Thai; whassup NYC!
In closing, a lesson for life. Swimming in the bath-warm ocean at night is wonderful. Mobile phones, however, do not enjoy swimming in salty water nearly as much as humans do. They tend to get unpleasantly (and non-functionally) crusty. Alas, another casualty of a careening drunken night. Au revoir phone, you served me well. My new phone has Thai letters above the English ones on each of the number keys. It's nuts!
Say hi to America for me, with heaping, steaming, non-crusty piles of love.
No comments:
Post a Comment